Back bone

May 7, 2013

This very odd dream takes me to unusual places and situations. In the beginning, I find myself with a woman. She is youthful and rebellious. Strangely, she removes a bone from her back and hands it to me. It is a very strange bone, not a typical vertebrae or bone you would see in a spine. It had a center bone with two bones extending from each side, similar to the shape of a letter "m," but not quite. In a way, it looked like wings.

I keep the strange bone with me and later notice I'm observing the woman and how her back and shoulders just don't look right. I approach her and tell her it's time to put the bone back into her. She exposes her back and her skin opens. I place the bone back in. Later, she asks me to take it out again. I comply, but this time I end up with the bone for a long time and the girl disappears.

I'm then walking in a park-like setting on a trail. I keep pulling the bone out, wondering where the woman is and why I have this thing. It is slowly drying up and beginning to splinter and flake. Each time I pull it out of my pocket, the more worn it becomes. I begin to feel there is no chance now of putting it back into the woman. It is too lifeless and worn now. I hold it in my hands, wondering what to do and what will happen to the girl without the bone in  her back. Flakes of the bone fall and blow away in the wind. Then blood begins to drip out of it onto the ground. I continue to hold it, still unsure of what to do. I get down on the ground and try to clean up the blood that has fallen, as people walk by on the trail. Then I realize it has bled onto the ground and into the dirt and that there is no need to clean it up. I cover the mess with dirt and move on walking the trail.

Then I notice that I have an old radio/tape player in my hands. I'm walking on the path, listening to music. Something I would surely be annoyed by. At this point, I'm not sure if I still have the bone or not and I find myself in a strange place. I can't quite explain what it is. It's a place where people go, seemingly for entertainment. It's dark, with halls filled with strange lights. People are walking through the halls, similar to a haunted house during Halloween. I'm there alone, between groups of people, wandering the dark mysterious hallways with others. Finally, I come out of whatever I was just in and into a parking lot outside. I quickly notice I'm missing my shoes, my jacket, my radio and my dog! I begin to panic and wonder how I lost these things, especially the shoes off my feet! I try to figure out what to do and assume someone will find my stuff. Then my mother approaches me in the parking lot, holding my shoes and jacket. She says she is going to call 911 to find my dog and radio. I think to myself that she is crazy and tell her there is no need for that, it is not an emergency, I'll find my dog and radio. Just then, a woman approaches me with my dog and radio, as if she knew who I was and that the things belonged to me. This was strange to me, because I did not know her and did not know how she knew I was the owner. Regardless, I was happy to have all of my things back, especially my dog.

Flood

Monday, May 6th

I find myself with family, spending time outdoors. A storm rolls in. My mom and I take shelter in an old cabin. Suddenly, we are in  a torrential down pour, one like I've never seen before. We can barely see through the rain. Even though we are inside this old structure for protection, it is falling apart around us. Rivers of water begin forming and rushing with so much force. They rush around us on all sides. We are on the second floor of this old, wooden cabin and everything is collapsing around us. I hold on to my mother for dear life as she is swept under the water and fighting to keep above the currents. I do my best to keep us afloat, but it is so difficult with the rain pouring so hard, the building crumbling around us and the flood waters raging past us. The struggle is short though, as the rain soon begins to subside. From there, I find myself wandering back down out of the building and into the landscape that was surrounding us. There is a place where the open spaces become a thick forest. I look to the ground and see the many newly flowing streams in the Earth, now gently flowing with freshly fallen rain. The forest opens up before me and suddenly, the once lifeless trees are now budding and blooming with life, lush and green, drenched in rain and sunbeams. The entire dream is in black and white until I look into the forest.

"An uninterpreted dream is like an unopened letter from God."
~The Talmud

A dream is...

The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul, which opens to that primeval cosmic night that was soul long before there was conscious ego and will be soul far beyond what a conscious ego could ever reach. ~Carl Jung

Never Ending Battle

And here I am again, lying next to the beast, or at least one of his grotesque cohorts. Why am I being placed here once again? Why must I keep fighting? What if I lose? I lay there knowing what I need to do, trying to hide my thoughts and think them in some other form or in some other dimension. After all, what if he can hear them. I must hide who I am and what my plans are, although I'm sure he already knows, since I won't allow his serpentine arms to comfort me as the other women have. Their poor souls, victims, lying next to him like corpses. His manipulative grasp, which once held me, but no longer. I'm lying here too, but I have ulterior motives in mind.

How am I not completely petrified of what is surrounding me? It's amazingly hot and stuffy, uncomfortable, and smothering.  This isn't Earthly air. The air of "Hell" has permeated into our world. Why must I experience it? I've been here before, why do I keep waking up here over and over?

There are many of us locked in the house. Both men and women. I close my eyes, so not to see this beastly being, with white eyes and pale skin. He's bathing happily in the human life that surrounds him.

I usually don't get away from him, but this time I do. I find others in the house that are free from his evil grip, and his overpowering negativity. As I gather everyone together, I fear what will happen if we fail. We'll only anger the beast and I'm quite sure he'll have some kind of unbearable torture in store for us. I then stumble across my spiritual teacher, who once guided me in the realm of the living. No longer in the dimension of our world, I find her in my dream world. I plead for her help and ask where I can find her teacher who is still on the Earthly plane. Where could I find her? She couldn't help me and she faded into the shadows. Time seemed to be running out and I only had two options, fight and fail or fight and succeed. Either way, I had to fight.

I gathered a small group of us together and we stood in a circle holding hands tightly. We all knew we had to fight this beast. It was very hard to stay focused, and I fought as hard as I could to keep my mind entirely focused on the task at hand. Why did it seem so hard to concentrate on something so important? Together we concentrated as hard as we could, summoning a divine white light from all around us. As we focused our minds and energy, we harnessed the light and it shot up toward the heavens. The light radiated out in all directions in a powerful display, and then faded.

The room became quiet and we walked to the room where the beast had once been. He was gone. His presence however was still felt, it lingered. The negative energy was weaker and 'he' was gone, but the residual feeling of evil still hung heavy in the air. The smothering air of Hell had subsided, however, and a small taste of defeat was felt within those of us who defeated the serpent-like being.

The White Dove

Once again, I find myself in the home I lived in as a teenager, however this time the inside of the house is familiar, but the outside is completely different. Rather than being in a suburbia landscape, it is nestled in a mountain landscape with large pine trees. In my former bedroom, I'm sitting on the bed with another person, whom I can't really see or recognize, but I know is there. This part of the dream was not vivid and hard to recall. I heard the voice of a woman who spoke in an middle eastern accent. She was explaining to me her experience of being in college. Then something happened that brought great joy to the person who was with me. It was either a phone call from a cherished loved one, a favorite song that started playing, or something similar that I knew absolutely made the person's day. At that same moment, a white dove appeared in the window sill. I expressed to the person with me that it was a further sign of him or her (I think a him) being completely blessed in that moment.

I felt as though the dove wanted to come in, so I went over to the window and opened it. As soon as I did the bird came in. I extended my hand toward the dove and it briefly landed on me and then flew away, out the room, through the hallway and into the rest of the house. I knew I needed to find it, so that it didn't get hurt and so I didn't get in trouble for letting a dove in the house.

I went out into the hall and couldn't find the bird anywhere. I went into the living room and kitchen looking in all corners, and nothing. I couldn't find it, so assumed it had gone down into the basement, which was not my favorite part of the house. I'm convinced that this part of the house was haunted in waking life and in this dream life, it seemed the same, dark, cold and inhabited by some unseen energy. Sure enough, as I entered the basement, it was dark, cold and creepy. I briefly looked in each room, but couldn't find the dove. No one would come down there with me, not even the cat, and I hated being alone down there.

I opened the door to one of the bedrooms, that was covered in mirrors against one wall. The moment I opened that door, a burst of chilling cold moved past me and I felt as though there was something else inhabiting the room that could not be seen, but felt. I could tell that a woman was staying in the room, her colorful clothes and personal belongings were strewn all over. I wondered how she could live there with the cold presence that I felt shared the room with her. I immediately left and decided it was time to get out of there. I tried to turn out all of the lights I had turned on before going back up the stairs. I knew I would not be going back down there and didn't want to leave lights on to waste electricity. However, there were many light switches on the wall and I couldn't figure out which ones turned the lights out and I flipped through many of them, some of which seemed to do nothing at all. I just wanted to get out of there. I finally got most of the lights out and saw that the light in the back bedroom was on, which I hadn't recalled being on when I was just back there. It seemed like an invitation to go back there again to turn it off, but I decided it wasn't worth it. I would rather rack up the electricity bill then go back to that room, so I finally left. As soon as I got back upstairs, the surroundings and energy felt so much better. It was bright and comfortable.

I had given up on the dove, it seemed to have just disappeared and I hoped that the cat wouldn't catch it. I went back to the bedroom in which I was originally in when the dove appeared. I looked out the window and found that in the time I was gone, someone had decorated the huge pine trees in beautiful decorations. It didn't necessarily look like holiday decorations, but something that might be found in a realm of fairies or angels.

My home, my forest, my sadness

I find myself in the house I grew up in as a teenager. Just waking up, I make my way to the kitchen for some tea. I turn on some music to start my day and started clattering around. I then realized my father was sleeping, all curled up in blankets on the couch in the living room. I didn't wake him, but decided I should probably be a little more quiet, I thought I was the only one in the house, but evidently not.

I step outside into the back yard and notice a huge orange tarp over the neighbor's entire yard. I thought that was strange. I noticed that the fence that once surrounded the entire yard of my old house had fallen apart and one whole section next to the street was missing. I then noticed a very elaborate deck, much larger and nicer than what was originally there (which my dad had built with friends in real, waking life). I noticed a wheelchair ramp made of beautiful red wood, that strangely led up to three steps. I wondered why anyone would build a ramp that led up to stairs. I then saw my dad out on the deck working on it and repairing it with a friend. I overheard them talking about how to access the house by wheelchair and how one would have to go all the way around the house and enter through the old garage that was falling apart.

I then decide to leave and start walking down the road through my old neighborhood. In reality, this is a city street, lined with houses and roads, with no parks or green space. However, as I am walking in this area, I come up to a beautiful greenbelt, that is actually a breath-taking forest. This isn't just any forest, it seems absolutely enchanted and divine, with bright gold rays of sun beaming through the trees. The closer you got to the middle, the more peaceful and joyful it made you feel.

Suddenly, a voice tells me the forest is going to be torn down. I look down around me and see that all around this forest were stakes laid out for future construction of homes, a development. My heart sunk and I felt helpless that such a place of beauty and peace was going to be destroyed forever for the construction of homes that probably weren't even needed.

How could anyone not feel the pain of bulldozing this enchanted place? We're simply turning our world of beauty and enchantment into a man-made landscape of destruction and emptiness in the name of development. It was difficult enough to see this tiny belt of beauty and nature within the current neighborhood that surrounded it; it was even more difficult to accept the fact that what was left would soon be removed from the Earth forever...