Never Ending Battle

And here I am again, lying next to the beast, or at least one of his grotesque cohorts. Why am I being placed here once again? Why must I keep fighting? What if I lose? I lay there knowing what I need to do, trying to hide my thoughts and think them in some other form or in some other dimension. After all, what if he can hear them. I must hide who I am and what my plans are, although I'm sure he already knows, since I won't allow his serpentine arms to comfort me as the other women have. Their poor souls, victims, lying next to him like corpses. His manipulative grasp, which once held me, but no longer. I'm lying here too, but I have ulterior motives in mind.

How am I not completely petrified of what is surrounding me? It's amazingly hot and stuffy, uncomfortable, and smothering.  This isn't Earthly air. The air of "Hell" has permeated into our world. Why must I experience it? I've been here before, why do I keep waking up here over and over?

There are many of us locked in the house. Both men and women. I close my eyes, so not to see this beastly being, with white eyes and pale skin. He's bathing happily in the human life that surrounds him.

I usually don't get away from him, but this time I do. I find others in the house that are free from his evil grip, and his overpowering negativity. As I gather everyone together, I fear what will happen if we fail. We'll only anger the beast and I'm quite sure he'll have some kind of unbearable torture in store for us. I then stumble across my spiritual teacher, who once guided me in the realm of the living. No longer in the dimension of our world, I find her in my dream world. I plead for her help and ask where I can find her teacher who is still on the Earthly plane. Where could I find her? She couldn't help me and she faded into the shadows. Time seemed to be running out and I only had two options, fight and fail or fight and succeed. Either way, I had to fight.

I gathered a small group of us together and we stood in a circle holding hands tightly. We all knew we had to fight this beast. It was very hard to stay focused, and I fought as hard as I could to keep my mind entirely focused on the task at hand. Why did it seem so hard to concentrate on something so important? Together we concentrated as hard as we could, summoning a divine white light from all around us. As we focused our minds and energy, we harnessed the light and it shot up toward the heavens. The light radiated out in all directions in a powerful display, and then faded.

The room became quiet and we walked to the room where the beast had once been. He was gone. His presence however was still felt, it lingered. The negative energy was weaker and 'he' was gone, but the residual feeling of evil still hung heavy in the air. The smothering air of Hell had subsided, however, and a small taste of defeat was felt within those of us who defeated the serpent-like being.

The White Dove

Once again, I find myself in the home I lived in as a teenager, however this time the inside of the house is familiar, but the outside is completely different. Rather than being in a suburbia landscape, it is nestled in a mountain landscape with large pine trees. In my former bedroom, I'm sitting on the bed with another person, whom I can't really see or recognize, but I know is there. This part of the dream was not vivid and hard to recall. I heard the voice of a woman who spoke in an middle eastern accent. She was explaining to me her experience of being in college. Then something happened that brought great joy to the person who was with me. It was either a phone call from a cherished loved one, a favorite song that started playing, or something similar that I knew absolutely made the person's day. At that same moment, a white dove appeared in the window sill. I expressed to the person with me that it was a further sign of him or her (I think a him) being completely blessed in that moment.

I felt as though the dove wanted to come in, so I went over to the window and opened it. As soon as I did the bird came in. I extended my hand toward the dove and it briefly landed on me and then flew away, out the room, through the hallway and into the rest of the house. I knew I needed to find it, so that it didn't get hurt and so I didn't get in trouble for letting a dove in the house.

I went out into the hall and couldn't find the bird anywhere. I went into the living room and kitchen looking in all corners, and nothing. I couldn't find it, so assumed it had gone down into the basement, which was not my favorite part of the house. I'm convinced that this part of the house was haunted in waking life and in this dream life, it seemed the same, dark, cold and inhabited by some unseen energy. Sure enough, as I entered the basement, it was dark, cold and creepy. I briefly looked in each room, but couldn't find the dove. No one would come down there with me, not even the cat, and I hated being alone down there.

I opened the door to one of the bedrooms, that was covered in mirrors against one wall. The moment I opened that door, a burst of chilling cold moved past me and I felt as though there was something else inhabiting the room that could not be seen, but felt. I could tell that a woman was staying in the room, her colorful clothes and personal belongings were strewn all over. I wondered how she could live there with the cold presence that I felt shared the room with her. I immediately left and decided it was time to get out of there. I tried to turn out all of the lights I had turned on before going back up the stairs. I knew I would not be going back down there and didn't want to leave lights on to waste electricity. However, there were many light switches on the wall and I couldn't figure out which ones turned the lights out and I flipped through many of them, some of which seemed to do nothing at all. I just wanted to get out of there. I finally got most of the lights out and saw that the light in the back bedroom was on, which I hadn't recalled being on when I was just back there. It seemed like an invitation to go back there again to turn it off, but I decided it wasn't worth it. I would rather rack up the electricity bill then go back to that room, so I finally left. As soon as I got back upstairs, the surroundings and energy felt so much better. It was bright and comfortable.

I had given up on the dove, it seemed to have just disappeared and I hoped that the cat wouldn't catch it. I went back to the bedroom in which I was originally in when the dove appeared. I looked out the window and found that in the time I was gone, someone had decorated the huge pine trees in beautiful decorations. It didn't necessarily look like holiday decorations, but something that might be found in a realm of fairies or angels.

My home, my forest, my sadness

I find myself in the house I grew up in as a teenager. Just waking up, I make my way to the kitchen for some tea. I turn on some music to start my day and started clattering around. I then realized my father was sleeping, all curled up in blankets on the couch in the living room. I didn't wake him, but decided I should probably be a little more quiet, I thought I was the only one in the house, but evidently not.

I step outside into the back yard and notice a huge orange tarp over the neighbor's entire yard. I thought that was strange. I noticed that the fence that once surrounded the entire yard of my old house had fallen apart and one whole section next to the street was missing. I then noticed a very elaborate deck, much larger and nicer than what was originally there (which my dad had built with friends in real, waking life). I noticed a wheelchair ramp made of beautiful red wood, that strangely led up to three steps. I wondered why anyone would build a ramp that led up to stairs. I then saw my dad out on the deck working on it and repairing it with a friend. I overheard them talking about how to access the house by wheelchair and how one would have to go all the way around the house and enter through the old garage that was falling apart.

I then decide to leave and start walking down the road through my old neighborhood. In reality, this is a city street, lined with houses and roads, with no parks or green space. However, as I am walking in this area, I come up to a beautiful greenbelt, that is actually a breath-taking forest. This isn't just any forest, it seems absolutely enchanted and divine, with bright gold rays of sun beaming through the trees. The closer you got to the middle, the more peaceful and joyful it made you feel.

Suddenly, a voice tells me the forest is going to be torn down. I look down around me and see that all around this forest were stakes laid out for future construction of homes, a development. My heart sunk and I felt helpless that such a place of beauty and peace was going to be destroyed forever for the construction of homes that probably weren't even needed.

How could anyone not feel the pain of bulldozing this enchanted place? We're simply turning our world of beauty and enchantment into a man-made landscape of destruction and emptiness in the name of development. It was difficult enough to see this tiny belt of beauty and nature within the current neighborhood that surrounded it; it was even more difficult to accept the fact that what was left would soon be removed from the Earth forever...

A Year?

One of my favorite places on Earth is the Alpine Tundra biome. I found myself in a dream within this beautiful alpine landscape. I'm looking at a map to find what is on top of a specific peak that I had never been to the top of. I was ready to check out the new territory and was delighted to find that there was a lake at the top of the mountain.

Once at the top, I notice that there are homes and a small development there. I remember thinking how beautiful it would be to live there, but how could it be possible in the winter. Even though it is a beautiful place, a development would simply destroy it. I wondered if the people who lived there only stayed for the summer. I looked around at the houses and cars, but didn't see any people. I was suddenly in a small white house, looking across the street. I noticed two houses. One in particular caught my attention. It had gray siding and the address 365. This seems to be one of the most important pieces of the dream, since I remember the number so vividly and the details of the outside of the home. I didn't realize it at first, but now realize that is the number of days in a year.

Vortex

In this dream, I'm packing up my backpack, getting ready to go on a  hike with Chief. The weather outside is a little grey and cloudy but storms usually pass quickly here, so I decided to set out anyway. We started our way up the mountain when I started to hear rolls of thunder in the near distance. I decided we should turn around and go back to the house. As I'm walking down the mountain, I notice a very distinct low-rumbling sound. We get back to the house and I notice some interesting movements in the clouds above. I notice a rotation in one area of the sky and realize that a small tornado had formed. The rumbling sound I had heard had come from the tornado and I was glad I decided to bring us back to shelter. I found it very odd that there would be a tornado in the mountains. This one was not threatening however, and I just stood there watching it continuously come together and fall apart, over and over. I was intrigued by it and not afraid. As I'm watching it, it begins to change dramatically and now I'm witnessing a very large vortex open up in the sky. It was gray and threatening looking, but I still was not afraid of it. I continued to watch it, knowing that I was witness to some supernatural event. I wasn't sure if I was witnessing an apocalyptic event, but I really didn't care. I was completely drawn in to what I was seeing before me. It seemed comparable to an amazing cosmic event of creation or destruction. I looked briefly to my left and noticed another family with a young boy who were also standing there in awe watching what was happening in the sky. They didn't seem afraid either and were also drawn in to the mystical beauty of the event unfolding above. It had been dark and gloomy, and suddenly, it was as if the sun came out, but rather, the bright intense light was from a rainbow, not the sun. It was so bright, you couldn't look directly at it, but in my peripheral vision, I saw one large rainbow, with others moving and flowing around it, like waves of light, not produced by sun and rain. Suddenly, these rainbow beams of light are flowing in and out of the vortex. One goes directly in and the colors become a part of the vortex itself and begin spiralling within in. It is one of the most amazing things I've seen. I then have a camera and try to take a photo of it, but catch it only as the intense colors begin to fade.  I realize witnessing the event through a camera was taking away from my experience, so I put the camera away and continued to watch.

The bears are back :)

 

In last night's dream I was in my room with my mom (I believe). We notice a huge bear outside the window and then see her little cub. We watched them and were a little worried about how close they were to the house. They seemed to notice us. I went looking for my camera to take their photo. Suddenly, the cub jumped through my bedroom window. I noticed there was no screen or glass covering the window, it was completely open to the outside world. I knew we were in trouble then and was just waiting for momma bear to get pissed at us and come after us. I tried to get the cub to go away, but it wanted to come in and play. It was hanging and playing on the inside of the window frame. Momma bear came over to the window, but she didn't come after us. She came up to the window and started grabbing for her baby, but couldn't catch him/her. She never did come in. Finally they both ended up back outside the window and were wandering around. They now had a bunch of baby birds with them, as if they were caring for them. My mom or someone said they were egrets (wtf is an egret? dreams are so weird!). Now there were a bunch of people gathered outside, having picnics, just hanging out in nature. I was worried that someone would get attacked by the mother bear, but that did not happen, even though some stupid humans were approaching the cub. The bears seemed to ignore everyone and the dream ended there.

Psychic

Very rarely do I have dreams when someone tells me something very specific. This was the case just a few nights ago. I found myself face to face with some guy that I never met. He begins telling me things about myself as if he was giving me a psychic reading. The only part that stood out and was clear to me was that I was going to be making a lot of mistakes. Considering the fact that I have a lot of important and life-changing decisions ahead of me, this did not make me feel good. He disappeared and I just started feeling like shit, as if I have many difficulties ahead. Suddenly I'm back in that same place and he's there again. He told me not to feel bad and that these mistakes were going to be necessary to get to me where I truly need and want to be. They were not necessarily a bad thing, but a way to get me where I need/want to go.

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. ~Elbert Hubbard

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. ~George Bernard Shaw

Mistakes are the portals of discovery. ~James Joyce

To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all. ~Peter McWilliams

Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life. ~Sophia Loren